Malong
by Shinoue the dreamer
Summary: A malong is a traditional ethnic costume used by Mindaoans in their dances... what would happen if Duo gets his hands on one? By yours truly and shin-chan)


WARNING: THIS IS A TOTALLY RIDICULOUS FIC NOT MEANT FOR THE WEAK AT HEART. OR THOSE WHO LACK THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR. THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR THOSE IN SEARCH OF THE DEEPER MEANING OF FANFICTION. But for those who simply are looking for insane and half-hearted attempts at humor. please feel very free to read on.  
  
This is what happens to writers who suddenly meet up in the middle of night with nothing to do. and who were undergoing severe cases of boredom and over-stress from the coming exams. Please take note that this is a bizarre mixture of some. dozen. err, fanfics. So, if by any chance you can't understand what we are talking about. we assure you that no one else does. Hehehe.. (  
  
  
  
  
  
:::: MALONG ::::  
  
  
  
  
  
Malong. malong galore!!! Who would've thought that the great Shinagami would be so humiliated in his entire life as to wear something as stupid as this!!!  
  
  
  
What happens afterwards the torture he HAD to undergo? Curious, eh?  
  
Well, let's see. Heero had enough pity on him that he decided that enough was enough. He finally redeemed Duo by.  
  
Author1: Ahem. Taking the liberty to undress him off his terrible malong. Wink!  
  
Author2: Nanda? Ano. . .??? Ano. EH!!!  
  
Author1: BAKA! You don't even make much sense!!! Yes, you! Just look at what you typed. Yes, you were the one who typed it!!! Waitaminute! Are you sleeping on me again!?!  
  
Author2: EH. What on earth would you want me to say anyway if I can't understand where you're going with this idea?!  
  
Author1: Hohum! . already sleepy! Yawn! Drops dead.  
  
.Duo giggles and skips of in the malong to dance.  
  
Duo: Now my turn. lupa.. Laot. langit. [1]  
  
(doesn't Duo look adorable trying to dance in the malong)  
  
it blends well-He wears black clothes  
  
Author2: ( maybe I should borrow his outfit for tomorrow)  
  
Author1: BAD IDEA!!! Think of what HEERO would do to you if he finds out YOU took DUO's clothes. Now u know that Heero isn't the best person to mess around with- esp. since he is so protective of his little koi.  
  
By the way, what IS Heero doing???  
  
Author2: (BAKA!!! Of course I'll ask before I take his clothes.!!!) he's so adorable in the dance  
  
Author1: Yeah. Adorable in the sense that he is getting all tangled with it, creating a huge mess of long brown hair and purple cloth on the floor. Poor Duo!!! Still. KAWAII!!! Yes. Very much.  
  
Author2: KAWAII!!! HAI! HAI! HAI!  
  
Author1: "." (deep in thought)  
  
Author2: "." (understanding the other.)  
  
Author1: (I want to bring Quatre along as well so he can flit around like a unicorn. KAWAII!!!) [2]  
  
Author2: (I can imagine everyone trying to pin him down)  
  
Author1: Gee, what to say to that, except for kawaii. hmmm. so desu! OHOHOHOHOHO!!!  
  
Author2: (Wufei will be there too. constantly spilling things all over himself)  
  
Author1: Just a thought. Will 'retrieval' still affect Trowa??? (as if in answer, as Trowa hears the word, he shudders violently.) Oh well. [3]  
  
Author2: .Well, Wufei still seems to get a nosebleed everytime he remembers the incident and the 'buzzing' sound. I guess everyone is still affected by that one.  
  
Heero: " 'Everyone WHO'? . Is still going to be affected by 'that one WHAT'?" came a low calm, icy voice when a shaggy brown-haired boy in * spandex * overheard the conversation. noticing it referred to the rest of the pilots.  
  
No one answered him. It was gonna be a particularly HARD mission, and none was willing to take it. not when it had something to do with the Perfect Soldier. Trowa glared at the two remaining pilots, daring them to choose HIM again for the unfateful mission.  
  
Author 1: ".Uh, maybe you should ask Duo about it."  
  
::: the thought of the three pilots in unison "poor Duo":::  
  
:after 'overhearing' the situation. Duo tried to slip away as fast as possible-which was actually very slow considering the extremely painful condition he was in:  
  
.Suddenly.  
  
Heero: "Duo-koi."  
  
Duo cringed at the sound and began to sink into the huge malong.  
  
Author 1: ::: the thought of a totally twisted and yaoi writer like me- and Heero follows him right INTO the malong.- Hehehe! But I'm actually decent today, so what's the use of mentioning that???:::  
  
But. but. I DID mention it, ne?  
  
Oh, well. can't take it back now, can I? *Shrugs*  
  
  
  
Author 2: (to the other author beside me: I DON'T KNOW!!! Why don't you think of the next scene! You were responsible for bringing us into this situation anywayz!)  
  
"Maa Maa. more excuses out of you. It was you who started writing NOT me!"  
  
Author 1: Shrugs again, like she couldn't care less at being proved wrong. Oh, what the heck. We shouldn't fight over a silly thing anyway. Besides. (grins wickedly) I was already planning on asking u if u had any plans of making a sort of like sequel to the ficlet. Just lucky of me that u started it without me needing to ask you.  
  
Quatre nodded as he agreed to what the author had just said, but then stopped abruptly  
  
Quatre: "What?! You call that a fanfic?! Where's the story in it anyways?!"  
  
Authors: Ahem. I assume we all know that Quatre can have a bit of a temper.  
  
Quatre blushes uncontrollably  
  
Author 1: Well gotta go now. Just love it when Quatre's like this. As for the story. Heero pulls on Duo's braid before he can fully disappear into the malong.  
  
Duo flashed the two authors a pathetic 'help me' look  
  
The two authors merely shrugged. Hey, who here would want to get into Heero's way when he wants something?   
  
One of the authors leaves momentarily.  
  
(momentarily. YEAH RIGHT!!!)  
  
  
  
Later.  
  
  
  
Much, MUCH later.  
  
.in a LOW, defeated voice.author1 returns to finish what had been started * ahem * a year ago.  
  
Author 2: remember kids, this is a fact, not a fiction. General Patronage required. .  
  
.geeeez, so much time has passed.!  
  
Author 1: ("What was that theory of relativity again?". "Time passes faster when you don't want it to!")  
  
"TAADAAIIMAAA." .in a high, lunatic-like voice.  
  
Author 2: "WAHAHAHAHA!!! OKAERI!!!"  
  
Author 1: ::: dear, did YOU just take pills or are you simply going through those withdrawal stages?:::  
  
Author 2: "If you remember correctly, we left our beloved Gundam pilots - actually, Duo and Heero - in quite a situation, ne? What to do with them now?  
  
Author 1: What to do. what to do. THE TIME!!!" and runs off into a bunny hole  
  
  
  
".AND NOW.THE MUCH AWAITED ANSWER IS." follow the arrows.  
  
  
  
  
  
WE  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
DO  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
KNOW  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
IT  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
N-O-T!!!!  
  
(dives furiously after the first author straight down the rabbit hole, hoping to escape the angry mob.)  
  
::: Our sense of humor seems to take a turn for the worse when we're sleepy, ne?:::  
  
******GOMEN NASAIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!******  
  
(Commercial: Author 1: Remember Ri-chan-san from furuba? background: GOMEN NASAI!!!! GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NASAI, GOMEN NAAASAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!  
  
Author 2: Will someone please SHUT OFF the DAMNED TV!!!!!  
  
Author 1: *ahem*. back to Gundam.)  
  
THE END!!!  
  
author1 . okay, okay.. It's not yet the end!!! Quit hitting!!!.  
  
author2 "OKAY, okay! .So, we haven't figured out what to do with them yet even though it has been over a year. But. but. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND!!! LIVES ARE AT STAKE HERE!!! (oh, well. mainly our lives, but who cares?!)  
  
(aside to Author2: I told you we should have gone for that Lemon way back when. Should have saved us all the time and dilemma!!!)  
  
(back to Author1: No way!!! You had to leave * momentarily * anyway. and we DO know how long that could be.)  
  
Author 1: "Not my fault my mom decided to pick me up at that time!!! Not my fault too that Real Life should invade our precious time together!!! WAAH!"  
  
Author 2: "AWWWEEE!!! Id OK. we can hardly get any work done together anyway!"  
  
Author 1: :::Sniff. Sniffle. Snufflelofagus?!:::  
  
Author 2: ".Ain't it the truth?!"  
  
in the background: Author1: "Well? Say something. it's your line next!  
  
Author2: "But I thought of your last line, so it's your turn to think of my line now!  
  
Author1: * grins then leaves 'ahem' momentarily (but she means it this time) AND SHE'S BACK! With. with. WEAPONS!!!  
  
Author 1: Deadpan: The better to protect ourselves with, my dear.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tsuzuku.NOT!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
[1] This is a somewhat ethic song that goes perfectly well when you're trying to dance in a malong  
  
[2] and [3] other fanfics that we have read and somehow managed to integrate here. poorly. Just wanted to share that if anyone knows and even comes across these things, please do tell us the titles. They are great humorous fics! We highly recommend them! 


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